Dogs and mental health

Ever since I was a child I always wanted a dog but sadly my parents didn't want a dog as a family pet and so I promised myself that when I grew up and had my own house I would get a dog.

I moved into our flat when I was 21 years old.  I was going through a tough time struggling with depression that was a symptom of a serious mental illness.  There were days when I wasn't even getting out of bed and I was constantly thinking about suicide.  My partner at the time knew how I felt about animals (I love them) and especially how I felt about dogs and so he told me to go to cat and dog home and look for a dog.  We had always agreed that we would get a rescue dog.  He hoped that this would break my depression.  The next day myself and my best friend went along to the cat and dog home looking for that perfect companion.  In my head I was looking for an older smallish dog.  We looked at all the bitches and dogs but nothing was suitable.  We had a cat at the time and most of the dogs in cat and dog home where not suitable to be re-homed with cats and so we where about to give up when the lady taking us round said "we do have a puppy, but he's already be re-homed and brought back 4 times"  I wasn't looking for a puppy but I decided to take a look at him anyway.

The moment I walked into the puppy shelter and saw him I knew he was my dog.  There was this very excitable golden ball of fluff bounding about his pen.  The lady opened the pen and I knelt down to greet this little creature and he jumped straight over my head and started circling me barking and bounding playfully.  I said I would take him as soon as I saw him but the lady was busy explaining that he was destructive and occasionally bit in a playful way and that so many people had taken him but brought him back.  He needed to go to a home without children (because of the biting) but he would be ok with a cat.  He was only 10 weeks old but already had 4 homes!  Someone needed to give this little guy a chance.  I repeated that we would take him because I just knew in my heart that we would never bring him back no matter what.  Unfortunately because I lived with my partner at the time and he wasn't with me we couldn't take him that day so we arranged to get a lift to cat and dog home the following morning to collect our puppy who we decided would be called Sunny.

Bringing him home was probably one of the happiest days of my life.  He was so happy to have a home and excited to explore the flat.  He was super curious about the cats and chased them a couple of times but soon learned not to because he got a sore nose.

It was hard to be depressed with Sunny around.  If I stayed in bed too long he would jump up and bite my toes under the covers or lick my face and whine until I got up to let him out.  So staying in bed all day was no longer an option. He was HARD work.  Very destructive and couldn't be left alone even for a minute.  There where times I would put his lead on and attach it to my belt so he was with me wherever I was in flat just to stop him destroying the house.  Everything was a chew toy, from the couch to the potted plant and for a long time he did not understand toilet training no matter how hard we worked to get him to go outside he would still pee or poop in flat.  By the end of the first month I could understand why he had been taken back to cat and dog home so many times but I wouldn't have taken in back in a million years.  He was my companion and I loved him unconditionally.

Sunny got older and our bond grew.  If I cried he'd snuggle up beside me to make me feel better and the routine of getting up and walking him meant that depression didn't have as strong a grip on me as it would otherwise.  I would always perk up after a dog walk.  Partly because of being outside in sunshine and fresh air but also because Sunny would be so happy to be on a walk and his joyfulness was contagious.

 A few years later we started thinking about getting another dog, as a companion to Sunny and because having one dog had brought so much joy into our lives we wanted to rescue another one.  We went to cat and dog home but this time no luck, none of the dogs we saw would get on with Sunny and there where no puppies waiting to be re-homed.  I had almost given up my search when a neighbour asked me if I would be interested in her daughters Staffie pup.  Staffordshire bull terrier was not my idea of the perfect breed like most people I had heard some horror stories about them but I decided to look at the pup anyway.  When she brought him to my door just like Sunny I knew instantly that he was the dog for us.  He got on with Sunny fantastically and I had never seen a dog that was so joyful.

Over the years Sunny and Doyle have become great friends, they are inseparable they sleep, eat, and play together and I have settled into a routine of looking after them. My mental health is still poor, but these two wonderful dogs keep me going.  I can't work due to my illness but having dogs means that I have to get up and go outside every single day.  Staying in bed all day isn't an option.  I hear voices, which makes being on my own quiet scary sometimes.  Thanks to the dogs I feel safe and comfortable in my own home during the day when everyone else is at work because no matter how threatening the voices get I always have Sunny or Doyle to cuddle for comfort.

I can honestly say that without Sunny and Doyle I'm not sure if I would even be here.  I remember in my darkest hours believing that everyone would be better off without me.  Everyone except them because they rely on me to take care of them.  Sunny in particular is very attached to me (and nobody else) it would be very hard for him to adjust to a new home if something where to happen to me and so on the few occasions when my illness has gotten too much and I've considered suicide as an option I've frequently held on only because of the dogs.

Having a dog or two is a HUGE commitment.  Financially, emotionally, and practically.  It's hard work but its hugely rewarding.  There isn't a day goes by when I don't count my blessings at having such wonderful creatures in my life.  Until Sunny I had never owned a dog before, but now I could never imagine my life without a canine companion.  They truly are amazing animals with such a huge capacity for love.  I am honoured to have them in my life.