Dealing with difficulties and keeping a peaceful mind.
Being conscious of what I want to attain in my mind is helpful. I want a composed and peaceful mind that is not easily influenced by external stress. I want a mind that feels compassion and love for every living thing. Achieving this not at all easy. I do not sit on my high horse looking down at everyone else believing myself to be better because I am trying to wake myself up and see the world from a different perspective. I do not believe I can achieve this simply by the knowledge alone that it is possible.
What I have had most trouble with this week is dealing with stress in general. It has felt like a stressful week. Working 6 days with little time to myself to rest, or meditate and having some financial difficulties added with the fact that I am still currently living with an ex partner who although I have the upmost regard for, it is still sometimes difficult to have gone through a huge change of relationship (what most would term a break-up) and yet still remain in each others space before any real processing has been done.
I want to hold my hands up now and say that I have not been compassionate, kind, loving or peaceful around or towards Chris this week. He has been my main challenge and I feel I could be dealing with things better. I am often seeing my point of view, and putting my wants, needs and feelings before his. I am seeing the world from my usual perspective of myself being the centre. I am trying to work through this and find a way to be calmer and to handle the various issues that come up in a way that is not hurtful and destructive to our friendship.
It is possible for me to list many things about Chris and about our situation that I find difficult. I can list all the reasons I choose to end our romantic involvement and I can rant and bitch. In the short term that ranting may even make me feel a little better but I know from experience that in the long term anger and bitterness are not constructive and simply damage both my own peace of mind and that of someone who deep down I have a lot of regard for. As much as I can focus on the flaws and mistakes Chris has made if I take a step back I can see many things I have done and said that have hurt him.
Part of me feels that if we had space and some time apart to process our feelings now that our relationship is no longer romantic we would find this much easier to cope with. However that is not possible or practical as financially the 3 of us living together is the best option. I also feel that my simply wishing for the situation to be different and dwelling on the negative aspects of our living arrangements will over-shadow the amount of learning and growth that could come about due to this circumstance. Yes it is difficult at times but that does not mean it is fruitless, nor does it mean that it has to be un-pleasant. At this point in my life this particular relationship challenges me I am trying to see that as an opportunity rather than a curse. I do not look upon Chris as my enemy however this quote does sum up the way I would like to view this situation.
“In one way, having an enemy is very bad. It disturbs our mental peace and destroys some of our good things. But if we look at it from another angle, only an enemy gives us the opportunity to practice patience. No one else provides us with the opportunity for tolerance. Since we do not know the majority of the five billion human beings on this earth, therefore the majority of people do not give us an opportunity to show tolerance or patience either. Only those people whom we know and who create problems for us really provide us with a good opportunity to practice tolerance and patience”
Dalai Lama
Chris may not be my enemy, but he is someone who currently challenges me. Working through the issues around our break-up and re-negotiating our friendship and bounds is difficult but it is giving us both a chance to grow empathy for a point of view that we do not yet understand. Our main concern at the moment is having different views around our home. Around how a home should be and what time and energy is put into creating an environment we both enjoy. We are sorting out financial things that have built up over time and are now causing a great deal of strain however we are in the fortunate position that any difficulties we are facing can be solved.
I received some news today that put all my stress, worry and anger into perspective. Some things cannot be changed or taken back and regardless of how hard and frustrating things might seem to me now as I experience them, in the scheme of life my problems are tiny and almost insignificant.
and so I will try to do better.
Being conscious of what I want to attain in my mind is helpful. I want a composed and peaceful mind that is not easily influenced by external stress. I want a mind that feels compassion and love for every living thing. Achieving this not at all easy. I do not sit on my high horse looking down at everyone else believing myself to be better because I am trying to wake myself up and see the world from a different perspective. I do not believe I can achieve this simply by the knowledge alone that it is possible.
What I have had most trouble with this week is dealing with stress in general. It has felt like a stressful week. Working 6 days with little time to myself to rest, or meditate and having some financial difficulties added with the fact that I am still currently living with an ex partner who although I have the upmost regard for, it is still sometimes difficult to have gone through a huge change of relationship (what most would term a break-up) and yet still remain in each others space before any real processing has been done.
I want to hold my hands up now and say that I have not been compassionate, kind, loving or peaceful around or towards Chris this week. He has been my main challenge and I feel I could be dealing with things better. I am often seeing my point of view, and putting my wants, needs and feelings before his. I am seeing the world from my usual perspective of myself being the centre. I am trying to work through this and find a way to be calmer and to handle the various issues that come up in a way that is not hurtful and destructive to our friendship.
It is possible for me to list many things about Chris and about our situation that I find difficult. I can list all the reasons I choose to end our romantic involvement and I can rant and bitch. In the short term that ranting may even make me feel a little better but I know from experience that in the long term anger and bitterness are not constructive and simply damage both my own peace of mind and that of someone who deep down I have a lot of regard for. As much as I can focus on the flaws and mistakes Chris has made if I take a step back I can see many things I have done and said that have hurt him.
Part of me feels that if we had space and some time apart to process our feelings now that our relationship is no longer romantic we would find this much easier to cope with. However that is not possible or practical as financially the 3 of us living together is the best option. I also feel that my simply wishing for the situation to be different and dwelling on the negative aspects of our living arrangements will over-shadow the amount of learning and growth that could come about due to this circumstance. Yes it is difficult at times but that does not mean it is fruitless, nor does it mean that it has to be un-pleasant. At this point in my life this particular relationship challenges me I am trying to see that as an opportunity rather than a curse. I do not look upon Chris as my enemy however this quote does sum up the way I would like to view this situation.
“In one way, having an enemy is very bad. It disturbs our mental peace and destroys some of our good things. But if we look at it from another angle, only an enemy gives us the opportunity to practice patience. No one else provides us with the opportunity for tolerance. Since we do not know the majority of the five billion human beings on this earth, therefore the majority of people do not give us an opportunity to show tolerance or patience either. Only those people whom we know and who create problems for us really provide us with a good opportunity to practice tolerance and patience”
Dalai Lama
Chris may not be my enemy, but he is someone who currently challenges me. Working through the issues around our break-up and re-negotiating our friendship and bounds is difficult but it is giving us both a chance to grow empathy for a point of view that we do not yet understand. Our main concern at the moment is having different views around our home. Around how a home should be and what time and energy is put into creating an environment we both enjoy. We are sorting out financial things that have built up over time and are now causing a great deal of strain however we are in the fortunate position that any difficulties we are facing can be solved.
I received some news today that put all my stress, worry and anger into perspective. Some things cannot be changed or taken back and regardless of how hard and frustrating things might seem to me now as I experience them, in the scheme of life my problems are tiny and almost insignificant.
and so I will try to do better.
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